Decisions, decisions…

Dear friends,

We got home a little while ago from a concert Jenni was in. It was incredible- orchestra, Littleton Chorale and select groups from 3 high school choirs. The high school choirs also each performed in the first half. Amazing! Jenni ended up getting the highest score possible in her voice competition a few weeks ago, by the way. She wants to try and get a minor in music with her mechanical engineering degree, wherever she ends up going to college. She is hearing back from colleges and will need to make a decision by the end of April. Please pray for her decision.

Jesse is at Sea Base, a Boy Scout camp on an island off the coast of Miami this week. He will get back to Miami on Saturday where Allison will pick him up and take him back to Lakeland for a visit with her at Southeastern University until next Wednesday.

Laura is enjoying Atlanta so far. She is making friends and visited a church called Perimeter and wants to keep going there. A few co-workers might join her next week. She went to Atlanta’s St. Patrick’s Day parade last Saturday with some people from work and had a good time. Mostly she is working hard and getting used to everything.

Greg is working on fixing up our kitchen in between his other work. He was covered with plaster splatter yesterday and had Jenni and me laughing. He and I are scheduled to go to Spokane from Saturday until Wednesday to check out the city and for him to have a second job interview there. Please pray with us for peace and discernment about this for both of us. I am still struggling with the idea of moving at this time.

I am physically not doing well. Tiredness and several other things are going on which could all be stress related, or could be left over from all of the cancer treatments, meds, or from something else. My emotions are also running high. It is hard when people tell me, “to get over it and move on.” I will be honest and tell you that I am worn out and am tired of being in this hard place. I wish I could just, “get over it and move on.” There are lots of reasons that is impossible for me at this point. I will be relieved when we can look back at this time- when it is a memory and not happening now. But I also know that I am in this hard place now, and need to process what the Lord is teaching me about myself, others, and about how to handle in my heart, the recent events that resulted in the closing of the ministry we (and so many others) gave ourselves to for 27 years. I am grateful for the counselor who is helping me through this process.

If you are a pray-er, please pray that I would physically feel better. Pray that I can process what I need to process. Pray that I am not a drag on those around me. Pray that I can know God’s presence and voice when he speaks to me. Pray that Greg and I would be able to discern God’s will for us in next steps and agree on what that is. For several reasons, we (especially Greg) feel that time is running out, and that we need to make a decision soon. Whatever decision we make will have long-term consequences, so a lot is riding on it for us and others. The weight feels great.

I thank you for reading this and for any prayers you offer up for me and for our family. I am amazed and so thankful that there are people who care enough to read these blogs! You are a real blessing to me! God bless you! Nancy

PHEW!!

What a week it has been!

Laura found out 2 weeks ago that she has a job with Cingular Wireless and needed to be in Atlanta today to start 6 months of training. I think she is officially being trained as an "Executive Accounts Manager." She also learned that she is to wear official business dress every day to work. This means expensive business suits, shoes, etc. She got those (enough to get started), and we helped her buy a used 2002 Honda Accord for a very good price. She will pay us back ASAP as we totally scraped the barrel to come up with the money for her.

She learned that she did indeed graduate from Grove City and we had a graduation party on Friday night. There were 50-60 people here and it was a very fun time. She left in her silver car loaded to the brim on Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m. with Jenni. They drove straight through and got there in about 21 hours. She is living in furnished housing. It sounds like a fantastic place. Jenni will fly home early on Wed. morning- in time for school. Laura is getting the best Blackberry made and a new laptop tomorrow I think. Some of you know what that means! So far her roommate seems very nice- Lisa. I will send announcements out this week as there was no time before she left.

After all of the energy expended with getting Laura ready to go, I was feeling really achy and tired. Yesterday after church I took a nap from 11 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and then also slept all of last night! I am feeling less tired today although still very sore and achy. I think what is happening is that as the side effects of my chemo and radiation wear off, some new medication (Famara) I am on can cause roving achiness in joints and muscles. I think the symptoms might be overlapping. I am supposed to stay on Famara for at least 5 years if not the rest of my life. I just began getting some accupuncture from a Christian friend to help my body heal.

I saw my oncologist last Monday and we talked for a long time. I haven't seen him since October. He ordered some blood tests to make sure I am OK on several things. I have the results but don't know what they mean yet. He will be letting me know. He thought my high liver numbers could be in part due to my jaw surgery and was testing that. I also saw a PT at Kaiser, who is trained in lymphodema, regarding my arm. She agrees that there is some swelling and wants me to get and wear a new theraputic sleeve on my left arm. I need to do that this week. It hasn't gotten worse. She also taught me some new massaging to do to reduce the problem. She was helpful and sweet, and I am allowed to call if anything more starts to happen.

The nerve in my jaw continues to heal. I am so thankful for the healing, but it sure is sore and wierd feeling as it heals.

I am struggling with how I feel about the possibility of having to move for Greg to take a job in another state. His gifting and talent are unique and in the right setting he is a total blessing to those he works with. He also wants to make a contribution to what God is doing in the world. So, is this job that has come up in another state THE ONE? Or is there something that would fit him that well that he could do from here in Denver, and we just haven't heard about it yet? He still gets calls almost every day about other jobs. I have agreed to go visit the out of state possibility if that continues to open up, but with no promises at this point. I am still so physically and emotionally weary. I have never felt this way before. It is humbling to admit that I am so weak right now. I know that God promises that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. So does that mean I am supposed to trust Him, and we are supposed to move, or is He telling me we should stay put and wait for some other job Greg can do here?

Please continue to pray with us about this. Transition is hard for me. Dying to self and yielding to God is part of the Christian life. But what does that mean for me/us now? I am tired, but I love God and trust Him too. I will see the counselor again tomorrow and she will help me to think this through some more. Thank you for standing with us at this difficult time. We are so grateful! God bless you! Nancy

Laura's graduation party next week!

Did you ever spend a lot of time writing something on the computer and somehow what you thought was saved just disappeared? Well, I just spent over an hour doing that and I don't have it in me to rewrite it all ,now so I will make this short...

We are planning a graduation party for Laura next Friday night at our house at 7:00. Please RSVP to (303)791-9306. RSVP's are not required. We want to congratulate her on all of her hard work in getting done at Grove City College in 3 1/2 years with a Bachelor of Science degree in Entrepreneurship. She is amazing, we're so proud of her and thank you for the part you have played in her life! (This was much better the first time I wrote it!)

She leaves the next morning for 6 months of training in Atlanta in a car she still needs to buy. We'd appreciate your prayers that she can get everything done in the week she has left.

We love her so very much and will miss her while she's gone. She has been a comfort and huge blessing to us since she came home at Christmas and we just thank God that she's been here during this hard time. Her wisdom, hugs, comfort and pies will be greatly missed! (Again, short version.)

Greg is still seeking the right job. Please pray for God's will and peace for both of us.

Jenni is very stressed with a very full load this, her senior year. She has a voice competition on Saturday. We had a special time praying for her Sunday. There are many college deadlines that we are trying to meet for scholarships, etc.

Jesse turns 16 next Thursday and actually gave me two really great hugs today when I was sad.

Allison has the flu in Florida but has sweet friends taking good care of her. She is tutoring several elementary school kids and is thankful for God providing this job which she loves.

My arm swelling isn't any worse but I am watching it. I see a PT for it next Wed. for an evaluation but will call a non-HMO specialist I know if anything happens before Wed. to nip it in the bud before it becomes lymphodema.

The nerve in my jaw damaged during surgery in January is still gradually healing. Sometimes they don't, so I am grateful it is.

I saw the counselor on Tuesday and she helped me a great deal. I have major grieving to do and will see her several more times. I have homework and am not allowed to ask the question, "Why?" for a long time- until she says it's OK. Pray that I can get through this process and not get stuck in an unhealthy place. I am grateful to have someone to help me do that.

I wrote lots of things the first time I wrote this, about God that are hitting home right now, but am too tired to rewrite them. Jesus is interceding for me before the throne of God. God always keeps all of His promises. He knows everything and is just- are some of them.

I have had a very long day and I continue to be grateful for you. God bless you- Nancy

Jobs, Arms and Letting Go...

Dear friends,
It is Monday night and I just have to write an update to any of you who are following our lives through this blog. I am amazed that so many are reading this blog who I don't even know. I hope these entries are helpful and honor God. They are certainly honest if nothing else!
We got the great news this evening that Laura got a job with Cingular. She will be trained in executive sales in Atlanta for 6 months (nice housing provided) beginning March 13th, then will be located somewhere to continue working for the company. The man she interviewed with in Denver already told her that he would like her back at this office if she wants to live in Denver after the 6 month training is over. She has less than two weeks to find and buy a car, pack, get things she needs and let us give her a graduation party on March 9th before she drives to Atlanta on the 10th. She finally got at least informal word from Grove City that she did indeed graduate in Dec., so it is time to celebrate! We are so proud of her! She had two job interviews and was offered both jobs. Pray she and Greg would find her just the right car - hopefully this week.
Finally some news for us from the board: We received word last Thursday that in cooperation with our church here in Denver, arrangements have been made to receive any money at the church that comes in for us from our supporters. They will get receipts from the church. We have also been told that there has also been another anonymous account set up at the church, that we can draw on if our regular support account is low. The goal is to give us time to be able to process what has happened and what our next step should be. Greg has received many job offers, but none of them is just the right job so far. We are so grateful for this gift of time to discern what our next step should be.
Pray for me to keep learning what the Lord is teaching me. I am realizing things day by day that are helping my hurting heart. Tomorrow I am going to see a counselor with a friend to help me sort through the injustices piled up in my spirit. All the staff were such a family of co-workers, and seeing others hurt and confused at how we were/are being treated, is a struggle for me. I feel like I am on the brink of discovering what God wants to show me. I will share what I learn with you soon.
My left arm, today for the first time, hurt some and has a little extra swelling which made me wonder if it has gotten some lymphodema started. The scar tissue from Radiation is getting thicker, and may be blocking the flow of the lymphatic fluid out of my arm since my nodes under that arm were removed almost 8 years ago. Please pray that I would not have to deal with this time consuming and painful condition.
I am scheduled to see Dr. Bourg, my oncologist, next Monday, and have lots of questions for him. The blood work that just came back showed that I have 3 liver numbers elevated. Before now it was only 2. I am hoping for answers to that and several other questions when I see him. May God bless you and help me find answers. Blessings- Nancy Fritz
nancyfritz@aol.com, 303-791-9306 Cell: 303-885-7545

Home from Turkey

2/20/07
Hi friends,
We arrived home just after midnight on Sunday. We had a great trip. We had a very good time with the workers we visited and they said that we encouraged them. We were with them Thursday-Sunday and then the next Saturday for 1/2 a day. Their girls are precious- 2 1/2 and 4. We babysat for them the first Saturday so they could have an early Valentine's Day date. Valentine's Day is huge in Turkey. At least as big a deal as it is here in America.
We got to attend an international fellowship with them on Sunday morning and met a woman who used to work at our office. We went with them on a ferry to the European side of Istanbul the first Saturday. They live on the Asian side. It is an amazing place. That narrow waterway between the two sides is the only access to the Mediterranean from the Black Sea, so the ships were lined up by the scores waiting for their turn to go through.
Our hotel for the days we had to ourselves was across the street from the famous Blue Mosque. The calls to prayer were blasted from a minaret there 5 times a day, and echoed from other mosques nearby. We saw the Topkopi Palace, the cistern, the Hagia Sophia (church built by Constantine and converted into a mosque- now being restored back to the original), the archeological and art museums, and the Blue Mosque.
We met many interesting people. Greg received a wonderful sultan's hat for his birthday from a man who works at the hotel we stayed at. Greg also had 2 massages while we were there and really enjoyed them. I am not supposed to get massages yet- too soon after radiation, so Greg had mine. Greg and I shopped at the Grand and Spice Bazaars, ate terrific Turkish food, talked to Turks and other tourists and rested. I got a chest cold and lost my voice for Valentine's day, and Greg had an intestinal flu on the way home, but we were able to do what we wanted in spite of that. This trip was a gift from our church here in Denver to help us recover from all that is going on with our ministry, plus we were able to visit and care for our friends there on behalf of the church. What a blessing it was!
I discovered when we got home that somewhere between Frankfurt and here, the smaller bag that I had in my carry on got lost. We were so tired by then, Greg was feeling very sick with a fever, and we had to switch seats 2 times on our long overseas flight due to a broken seat, so I don't know just where it happened. It had a pen and flight information in it, so I had it out to use those at some point. It didn't happen in Turkey, so your prayers were answered if you prayed for that! It contained my license, a credit card, debit card, our digital camera, some email addresses of people I wanted to keep in touch with, and a gift for Allison. No one has tried to use my credit card, so there is a chance the airline will find and return it to me. At least we can pray.
We got word there that on the 13th, back here in Denver, the doors closed for the last time on Initiative 360. A meeting for staff was held that morning, keys turned in, and staff were told they were laid off as of 5:oo that day. This was very unexpected and a shock to all. We only got paid through the 13th this month and have health insurance until the end of next month. (It looks like those of us with pre-existing conditions will be able to stay on our insurance after that if we pay a higher deductible- if we still live in Denver.) Although I understand that all I-360 bills will be paid and the closing happened when it did to assure that, it still feels very sad. When my friend Deb and I went to get our paycheck today, we were told we had to sign the guest book in the lobby and that we couldn't go into the office because we might be accused of stealing corporate property, so we talked to our friend in the hall. Greg and I still haven't been told anything by the board regarding our situation. There has been a little phone tag, but no conversation.
Tomorrow evening we have invited over a few friends/ mentors to help us think through the options we have currently in front of us. We would appreciate your prayers for that time. My strength is gradually coming back. I am still getting over the chest cold I got in Turkey (1st time I have been sick since before all of my cancer treatment began- that is amazing!), but I think I am doing better in general. Our last dinner came yesterday, so I am now back on duty. My jaw is healing gradually and the nerve is very slowly coming back. My bottom right jaw and lip is still numb since surgery a month ago. I had an ovarian ultrasound yesterday to recheck the cyst I had last summer. It is still there but a little smaller. I had blood drawn today to check my white count (which was still below normal last month) and my liver (some numbers high last month). I am beginning my 2nd month of Famara. It is a hormonal drug that is supposed to block cancer cells from growing, and so far no bad side effects are evident. Hopefully there won't be any. I will see my oncologist next month and he will let me know if any tests are needed to make sure the cancer is gone now that treatment is done. I appreciate your prayers for my health.
My friend Sharyl, who scheduled friends to bring meals for us, had both knees replaced while we were on our trip. Please pray for her for healing. And our neighbor across the street lost their son while we were gone. His snow mobile fell through the ice on a lake and he drowned. I am so sorry for their loss. Loosing my camera doesn't seem so important in light of really hard things like that. I am grateful that His mercies are new every morning. Well, I have written way too much, so I will stop. We are still looking for email addresses for any of you wanting to receive our email updates. Please send them to gfritz7@aol.com. My email is nancyfritz@aol.com if you want to contact me, and you can call us at 303-791-9306. Laura has 2 job interviews this week. Good night for now and God bless you! Nancy

Update from Turkey

Dear friends,

It is Feb 12^th and Greg I are sitting in our hotel room in Istanbul, Turkey. The last call to prayer happened a little while ago. The famous 6 minaret mosque is across the road from here. We have finished meeting with our friends and will meet with them again next Saturday before heading home on Sunday. They were fun to spend time with and I think we were able to help them which was the main point of our coming. These next days we are tourists and are enjoying the city and relaxing together. Tomorrow we plan to see the sultan’s palace. This is an amazing place. It feels safe and the people are kind. The kindest ones are the carpet salesmen who are very nice to you and then try to get you into their shops so they can sell carpets to you. We are not in the market for a carpet, but it has been interesting to learn how they make them and the different types. They are really beautiful but not in our budget!

The kids are doing well at home. Jesse and Jenni are with Laura and she is in charge. We still need to do some processing of our own lives and would appreciate your continued prayers for that as this week unfolds. We got an email from the I-360 board last week which included these statements:

…After looking at the latest analysis of our financial situation and activities, we realized that we had to make an excruciating decision to begin the closure of I360 as it now exists unless the management team's efforts succeed in bringing other organizations alongside who are willing and able to help. Several organizations are in talks with the management team now, and the board is hearing from others who just want to know how to help.

It appears that after everyone's best efforts, I360 is not to be – certainly not as envisioned…

Wow, that was a sad email. I am having to process this 27 years of work and relationships being gone. 104 people no longer having employment with this company who did 6 weeks ago. No office to go to, friends and co-workers scattering, all of us trying to figure out what to do now. This is hard, but I still know we are in the arms of a loving God who will take care of us. So losing this ministry is very sad, but was taken totally out of our hands, and there was nothing we could do to prevent it. I am sure that the Lord will take us and all of our friends and co-workers through this. I don’t know how much processing I can get done this week, but I do ask for your prayers.

I met a man named Mohamed today at the bazzar who also has experienced cancer. I just felt I should mention mine to him and he poured out his story of a brain tumor he currently has is his head. I asked if I could pray for him and he let me. It was a very special connection. He calls me Mrs. Nancy. Who knows who God has for us to meet here this week. I will write again when I get the chance. Blessings- Nancy

Girls Picture