Decisions, decisions…

Dear friends,

We got home a little while ago from a concert Jenni was in. It was incredible- orchestra, Littleton Chorale and select groups from 3 high school choirs. The high school choirs also each performed in the first half. Amazing! Jenni ended up getting the highest score possible in her voice competition a few weeks ago, by the way. She wants to try and get a minor in music with her mechanical engineering degree, wherever she ends up going to college. She is hearing back from colleges and will need to make a decision by the end of April. Please pray for her decision.

Jesse is at Sea Base, a Boy Scout camp on an island off the coast of Miami this week. He will get back to Miami on Saturday where Allison will pick him up and take him back to Lakeland for a visit with her at Southeastern University until next Wednesday.

Laura is enjoying Atlanta so far. She is making friends and visited a church called Perimeter and wants to keep going there. A few co-workers might join her next week. She went to Atlanta’s St. Patrick’s Day parade last Saturday with some people from work and had a good time. Mostly she is working hard and getting used to everything.

Greg is working on fixing up our kitchen in between his other work. He was covered with plaster splatter yesterday and had Jenni and me laughing. He and I are scheduled to go to Spokane from Saturday until Wednesday to check out the city and for him to have a second job interview there. Please pray with us for peace and discernment about this for both of us. I am still struggling with the idea of moving at this time.

I am physically not doing well. Tiredness and several other things are going on which could all be stress related, or could be left over from all of the cancer treatments, meds, or from something else. My emotions are also running high. It is hard when people tell me, “to get over it and move on.” I will be honest and tell you that I am worn out and am tired of being in this hard place. I wish I could just, “get over it and move on.” There are lots of reasons that is impossible for me at this point. I will be relieved when we can look back at this time- when it is a memory and not happening now. But I also know that I am in this hard place now, and need to process what the Lord is teaching me about myself, others, and about how to handle in my heart, the recent events that resulted in the closing of the ministry we (and so many others) gave ourselves to for 27 years. I am grateful for the counselor who is helping me through this process.

If you are a pray-er, please pray that I would physically feel better. Pray that I can process what I need to process. Pray that I am not a drag on those around me. Pray that I can know God’s presence and voice when he speaks to me. Pray that Greg and I would be able to discern God’s will for us in next steps and agree on what that is. For several reasons, we (especially Greg) feel that time is running out, and that we need to make a decision soon. Whatever decision we make will have long-term consequences, so a lot is riding on it for us and others. The weight feels great.

I thank you for reading this and for any prayers you offer up for me and for our family. I am amazed and so thankful that there are people who care enough to read these blogs! You are a real blessing to me! God bless you! Nancy

PHEW!!

What a week it has been!

Laura found out 2 weeks ago that she has a job with Cingular Wireless and needed to be in Atlanta today to start 6 months of training. I think she is officially being trained as an "Executive Accounts Manager." She also learned that she is to wear official business dress every day to work. This means expensive business suits, shoes, etc. She got those (enough to get started), and we helped her buy a used 2002 Honda Accord for a very good price. She will pay us back ASAP as we totally scraped the barrel to come up with the money for her.

She learned that she did indeed graduate from Grove City and we had a graduation party on Friday night. There were 50-60 people here and it was a very fun time. She left in her silver car loaded to the brim on Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m. with Jenni. They drove straight through and got there in about 21 hours. She is living in furnished housing. It sounds like a fantastic place. Jenni will fly home early on Wed. morning- in time for school. Laura is getting the best Blackberry made and a new laptop tomorrow I think. Some of you know what that means! So far her roommate seems very nice- Lisa. I will send announcements out this week as there was no time before she left.

After all of the energy expended with getting Laura ready to go, I was feeling really achy and tired. Yesterday after church I took a nap from 11 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and then also slept all of last night! I am feeling less tired today although still very sore and achy. I think what is happening is that as the side effects of my chemo and radiation wear off, some new medication (Famara) I am on can cause roving achiness in joints and muscles. I think the symptoms might be overlapping. I am supposed to stay on Famara for at least 5 years if not the rest of my life. I just began getting some accupuncture from a Christian friend to help my body heal.

I saw my oncologist last Monday and we talked for a long time. I haven't seen him since October. He ordered some blood tests to make sure I am OK on several things. I have the results but don't know what they mean yet. He will be letting me know. He thought my high liver numbers could be in part due to my jaw surgery and was testing that. I also saw a PT at Kaiser, who is trained in lymphodema, regarding my arm. She agrees that there is some swelling and wants me to get and wear a new theraputic sleeve on my left arm. I need to do that this week. It hasn't gotten worse. She also taught me some new massaging to do to reduce the problem. She was helpful and sweet, and I am allowed to call if anything more starts to happen.

The nerve in my jaw continues to heal. I am so thankful for the healing, but it sure is sore and wierd feeling as it heals.

I am struggling with how I feel about the possibility of having to move for Greg to take a job in another state. His gifting and talent are unique and in the right setting he is a total blessing to those he works with. He also wants to make a contribution to what God is doing in the world. So, is this job that has come up in another state THE ONE? Or is there something that would fit him that well that he could do from here in Denver, and we just haven't heard about it yet? He still gets calls almost every day about other jobs. I have agreed to go visit the out of state possibility if that continues to open up, but with no promises at this point. I am still so physically and emotionally weary. I have never felt this way before. It is humbling to admit that I am so weak right now. I know that God promises that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. So does that mean I am supposed to trust Him, and we are supposed to move, or is He telling me we should stay put and wait for some other job Greg can do here?

Please continue to pray with us about this. Transition is hard for me. Dying to self and yielding to God is part of the Christian life. But what does that mean for me/us now? I am tired, but I love God and trust Him too. I will see the counselor again tomorrow and she will help me to think this through some more. Thank you for standing with us at this difficult time. We are so grateful! God bless you! Nancy

Laura's graduation party next week!

Did you ever spend a lot of time writing something on the computer and somehow what you thought was saved just disappeared? Well, I just spent over an hour doing that and I don't have it in me to rewrite it all ,now so I will make this short...

We are planning a graduation party for Laura next Friday night at our house at 7:00. Please RSVP to (303)791-9306. RSVP's are not required. We want to congratulate her on all of her hard work in getting done at Grove City College in 3 1/2 years with a Bachelor of Science degree in Entrepreneurship. She is amazing, we're so proud of her and thank you for the part you have played in her life! (This was much better the first time I wrote it!)

She leaves the next morning for 6 months of training in Atlanta in a car she still needs to buy. We'd appreciate your prayers that she can get everything done in the week she has left.

We love her so very much and will miss her while she's gone. She has been a comfort and huge blessing to us since she came home at Christmas and we just thank God that she's been here during this hard time. Her wisdom, hugs, comfort and pies will be greatly missed! (Again, short version.)

Greg is still seeking the right job. Please pray for God's will and peace for both of us.

Jenni is very stressed with a very full load this, her senior year. She has a voice competition on Saturday. We had a special time praying for her Sunday. There are many college deadlines that we are trying to meet for scholarships, etc.

Jesse turns 16 next Thursday and actually gave me two really great hugs today when I was sad.

Allison has the flu in Florida but has sweet friends taking good care of her. She is tutoring several elementary school kids and is thankful for God providing this job which she loves.

My arm swelling isn't any worse but I am watching it. I see a PT for it next Wed. for an evaluation but will call a non-HMO specialist I know if anything happens before Wed. to nip it in the bud before it becomes lymphodema.

The nerve in my jaw damaged during surgery in January is still gradually healing. Sometimes they don't, so I am grateful it is.

I saw the counselor on Tuesday and she helped me a great deal. I have major grieving to do and will see her several more times. I have homework and am not allowed to ask the question, "Why?" for a long time- until she says it's OK. Pray that I can get through this process and not get stuck in an unhealthy place. I am grateful to have someone to help me do that.

I wrote lots of things the first time I wrote this, about God that are hitting home right now, but am too tired to rewrite them. Jesus is interceding for me before the throne of God. God always keeps all of His promises. He knows everything and is just- are some of them.

I have had a very long day and I continue to be grateful for you. God bless you- Nancy