Hard Days

1-3-06
Dear friends,
What to say? I got my bloodwork back and some levels are not in the normal rage. My white count is a little low and a few of my liver numbers and my lymphosytes are a little off. The nurse told me that since the counts aren't too far off, there is nothing to worry about. The doctor will be in touch with me eventually as he is just getting back from vacation. I also learned that as far as my bloodwork is concerned, I am in full menopause. At least for now. That means that I will be able to take the post menopausal medication which is supposed to help prevent recurrence of cancer. I think he wants me to try Arimidex. I really don't want to take it, but feel that I probably have to try. I took Tomoxifen several years back and had too many side effects to warrent continuing to take it. But then I ended up with my cancer metasticizing. It is hard to know the right thing to do in this situation. I feel sad that I have to start taking it. I started taking my vitamins again after 6 months last week. I slept until 2:00 p.m. on New Years day. I am still tired and achy. They told me I would start to feel better about now.
Along with these test results indicating menopause, I also think I am starting to have the mood swings and tears the radiation oncologist warned us to expect after radiation ended. I have to say that along with Greg's being removed from the CEO role at our ministry after 27 years, 5 days before Christmas, that isn't helping my emotions any. If you see me and ask how I am doing and I say, "Fine," I would probably be lying. I am struggling with lots of emotions. Enough said. I still know that God loves us and is powerful, loving and in control. He is good. I am holding on to Him right now- very tightly.
We had a great time with Greg’s sister’s family on Saturday night. Our 1½-2 hour trip to their house took six hours. We left at 2:00 and realized after driving for an hour that we had left Allison home to pick up her boyfriend at the airport with no keys for the truck. We turned around, drove an hour and a half to the airport, got Josh, went home and got Allison, and finally arrived at Shelby’s at 8:00 that night. We enjoyed a great dinner, exchanged gifts and I stayed up late talking to Shelby. We walked outside Sunday morning and enjoyed the beauty of the sun on several feet of newly fallen snow on the pine trees. It was so nice to see God in His creation regardless of all else going on in our lives and the world. Thank you for your love and prayers and friendship. God’s blessings to you in this new year- Nancy Fritz